COVID-19 Coronavirus Revealed To Be A Democratic Socialist
Scientists discover the infectious virus sweeping the planet believes in a gradual transition to a socialist state.
| Photo by US Army
As the Coronavirus pandemic worsens and the number of cases within the US increases daily, a startling new discovery has been made.
The COVID-19 virus is a Democratic Socialist.
The discovery was made this week by scientists who were studying the virus in a Washington D.C. lab funded by the Heritage Foundation.
“This is a virus. It can’t vote, it can’t think, and arguably, it’s not even alive. It’s not a person, and we should be careful not to treat it like one,” A spokesperson for the lab told reporters yesterday morning.
“But saying that, this virus clearly follows the political ideology of democratic socialism.”
Speaking at a House Oversight and Reform Committee hearing, the head of the CDC also warned against anthropomorphizing the virus, but said “it’s pretty clear the virus has some outlier political views.”
When pressed on why he thought the virus had a political leaning, the head of the CDC explained that the virus was forcing the government to reconsider universal healthcare.
“In order to combat this thing, we may have to start offering free testing and care to patients without insurance. This virus clearly has a political agenda.”
When reports began to emerge of the virus’ political preferences, President Trump, who had previously downplayed the seriousness of the outbreak, immediately declared a national emergency.
“Viruses are bad, but socialism is badder,” the President said in a press conference yesterday afternoon.
In a rare display of bipartisanship, former Vice President and one of the nominees for the Democratic candidacy for President in 2020, Joe Biden, concurred with President Trump.
“This Commie virus has to be stopped,” Biden told reporters outside his campaign headquarters yesterday. “I was a young man during the Spanish Flu outbreak of 1918, and let me tell you, we don’t want a repeat of that.”
