President Trump Launches Unemployment Bonus in Case He Needs it in November
Bonus announced as part of federal scheme to help members of the 1% that have been negatively impacted by the COVID-19 outbreak.
Photo by Gage Skidmore
Washington, D.C. - President Trump today announced a new federal unemployment plan that he believes will “save lives and save the economy”. Speaking to the press outside the White House, President Trump said that extreme measures had to be taken to stop an economic recession.
“Nothing’s more important than money,” The President said, before explaining the scheme would be focused on protecting the “men and women that mobilize our economy: millionaires”.
The plan would allow high-earning professionals that have recently lost their job to apply for a weekly unemployment bonus of up to $15,000. To qualify for the bonus, applicants must have a net worth of at least $1 million.
“Where would we be without millionaires? We’d just be a bunch of poor people,” the President replied when questioned why his new scheme was designed to only help affluent Americans. “This plan will put money in the pocket of the people that need it most; unemployed millionaires.”
“Who knows, if the Democrats rig the election, I might need to apply.”
While some outlets reported the President was joking when he said he might apply for the program, a source from inside the White House confirmed that President Trump pushed for the bonus after his campaign manager warned him there was a significant chance he would lose the 2020 Presidential election.
